I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
