Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
