You're so nebulous sometimes
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
