Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
