It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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