Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize