you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
