i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
