Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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