it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
