he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
