I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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