drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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