Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
