JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
