sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
