I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
