Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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