She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
