wat bout pragnant strippers??
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
