woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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