I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
