Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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