do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Drunk is not a location!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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