The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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