id be glad to
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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