Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
