Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
