Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
