apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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