the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
