Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
