im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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