Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
