I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
