accomplished twins. life is a go
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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