We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
