Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
