Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
