What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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