She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
