its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
