This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
