Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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