I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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