he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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