I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
