Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
