Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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