you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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