everyone is single if you try hard enough
Do vagina's smell?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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