DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
