Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
